Saving Tess Read online

  When his expression tightened, and I knew he was close, I took his hand and guided it where I needed it most. Together, our fingers found that sensitive bundle of nerves, and I showed him how I liked to touch myself, wanting us to come as close together as possible. We didn’t need to wait long. I came twice in quick succession, the first triggering his climax and the second making him cry out my name.

  Another memory came forward, the recollection so vivid that it made my pussy clench. Clay said my name like a curse, his grip on me tightening. My hips moved back and forth, muscles clenching and releasing in time with the movements. Snapshots of memory came faster now, weaving in with my present until my brain swirled with it all.

  His mouth moved along my jaw and down my throat, teeth taking little nips at my skin. When his lips latched onto my nipple, my entire body jerked. The jolt of pleasure went straight through me, lighting up every cell in my body. With each pull of his mouth, I spun higher, raced faster.

  I tipped over the edge with a cry, and it was like a dam burst. Memories and emotions came out in a flood, and I squeezed my eyes closed, pressing my face against his shoulder. A shudder went through my entire body, and then I was aware of Clay swearing, of him emptying himself inside me.

  I still didn’t have all of my memories, but I had enough to know that everything Clay had told me was true, and I was safe here in his arms.

  And that I was quite possibly falling in love with him.

  Again.

  Twenty

  Tess

  “What the fuck is going on here?!”

  The shout pulled me out of a dreamless sleep, disorienting me enough that I barely registered the movement by the door.

  “Quiet down, Bri.” Clay’s voice was tight. “You’re going to wake her up.”

  “I sure as hell mean to wake her up!”

  Why was my sister shouting at Clay?

  I was halfway out of bed before I realized I was naked. I grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around me as I headed for the door. In the hallway, Clay and Brianne were arguing.

  “She’s had a rough few weeks.” Clay spoke through gritted teeth. “Let her sleep.”

  “That’s what you should’ve been doing last night, asshole. Letting her sleep.”

  “What’s everyone yelling about?” I asked mildly. I tightened my grip on the sheet and tried to look dignified.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Brianne pointed at me, her eyes flashing.

  “I was sleeping,” I said, meeting her eye. “But your big mouth changed that.”

  She took a step toward me, and Clay shifted so that he was between us. I put my hand on his arm and gave him a gentle push. He didn’t need more than that to move out of the way, but he didn’t go far.

  “If you have a problem with something I’m doing, then you need to talk to me.” I started to cross my arms, then realized that wouldn’t work well with keeping my sheet in place. “But, then again, you’ve never been good at that, have you?”

  “I don’t know what lies he told you to get you in bed…”

  I shook my head, unable to believe the nerve of her. “He’s not the one who’s been lying to me. I remember, Bri. Not everything, but enough to know that you and Clay never had sex. Not back then. Not now. You fucking lied to me.”

  She flinched as if I’d slapped her, but I refused to feel sorry for her. She’d brought this on herself. And I wasn’t done yet. I had a few other things to discuss with my sister.

  “You kept being gay a secret because you knew if you told me, I’d ask about that night. You could’ve just come up with another lie to cover the first, told me that it was an experiment or some shit like that, but you didn’t. You kept me at arm’s length intentionally.”

  “I did,” Brianne admitted. She squared her shoulders, looking proud of herself. “I did it for your own good.”

  I snorted a scoffing half laugh. “My own good? You told me that my best friend had fucked my sister and that he wanted to fuck me, not because he liked me, but because that’s what he did.”

  Clay moved in my peripheral vision, but he didn’t interfere. If he wanted to have his own discussion with Brianne, that was between them. He knew me well enough to know that I wanted to do this myself. I wished I’d had enough courage to stand on my own two feet back then.

  “You never would’ve left DC if you’d thought the two of you had a future,” Brianne countered. “And if you wouldn’t leave, then Mom wouldn’t leave, and we had to get away from Darius.”

  “I was fifteen, Bri. I would’ve hated leaving Clay, yes, but I would’ve understood.” My throat grew tight. “Do you really think I’m that selfish? That I would’ve put having a boyfriend over our safety?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “Like you said, Tess. You were fifteen. You might’ve thought you understood the world back then, but you didn’t.”

  “I didn’t because the two of you sheltered me.” It was my turn to point a finger at her. “And it still doesn’t justify lying to me for sixteen years.”

  “What about you?” she asked. “I lied to you. Sixteen years ago. I told you that I had sex with the guy you had some childhood crush on. Who the fuck holds on to something like that for nearly two decades?”

  “You really don’t get it, do you?” My eyes were burning, but I refused to give in to tears. “It wasn’t the lie. It was the betrayal. You knew how I felt about him and how much that lie would hurt me. I never trusted anyone after that because if my own sister could do that to me…” I couldn’t finish. The emotion was simply too tight in my throat for more words to pass.

  Brianne’s face softened. “Tess, I…I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  “You can’t even say it, can you? You can’t apologize to me like a normal person.” I clenched my teeth, one hand curling into a fist. “Just admit that you fucked up. I don’t expect you to actually understand or care about how badly you hurt me, but you could at least admit that you made a mistake.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “You think I don’t care?”

  “I’m pretty sure your actions are what say you don’t care.”

  “You’re my little sister, and I love you,” Brianne said. “But if you tell me I don’t care about you one more time, I’m going to…” She frowned. “Dammit. I can’t think of what I’ll do, but I’ll do something.” Her eyes met mine. “I’m sorry, Tess. For all of it.”

  I reached out and took her hand, squeezing it. “Thank you.”

  We stood like that for a minute, but before things could get awkward between us, Sylvia came into the living room.

  “Where did Luis go?”

  Twenty-One

  Clay

  “Where did Luis go?” Sylvia asked.

  I really hoped this was a bad joke or Sylvia not having looked hard enough, but that was all it was, hope. There was no way Sylvia had overlooked a guest in her own home, especially since it wasn’t a large space to begin with.

  “Isn’t he in the guest room?” Tess asked, more concern on her face than I liked.

  Sylvia shook her head. “I went to ask him if he would like breakfast, but the room is empty. Both beds are made.”

  Brianne shot me a glare. “If someone would have stayed where he was supposed to last night, we’d know where Luis is, or at least when he left.”

  “Knock it off, Bri,” Tess snapped. “Who I sleep with is none of your damn business.”

  “Does it really matter if he left?” I asked. “The three of us are trying to find our way back to the US. Luis lives here.”

  This time, it was Tess who glared at me. “So because he’s not a US citizen, it doesn’t matter if he’s in trouble?”

  “That’s not what I meant.” I fought to keep my voice even. Tess was upset because she was finally remembering what Brianne had done. She didn’t mean to take it out on me.

  “That’s what it sounded like,” she retorted. “Or maybe it has nothing to do with his citizenship. Maybe you’re just jealous bec
ause I’m not focused on you all the time.”

  Brianne laughed. “I guess I shouldn’t have been worried if you can’t get through the morning after without bickering.”

  “We wouldn’t be bickering if you hadn’t stuck your nose in our business,” I glowered at her. “She’s not a kid anymore, Bri.”

  “You’re right,” Tess said, readjusting her sheet. “I’m not. Which means I don’t need you fighting my battles either.”

  I raised my hands. “Whoa. What did I do?”

  “We need to find Luis,” Tess said. “That’s what’s important now. He could be in trouble.” She gave me a hard look. “Trouble he wouldn’t have had if he hadn’t helped me.”

  She had a point, as much as I hated to admit it. It still didn’t make me like Luis anymore. I didn’t trust him either, and that didn’t have anything to do with my feelings for Tess, complicated as they were.

  “He could have decided he wanted to go home,” Brianne said. “He helped you find your family. You don’t need him anymore.”

  Tess stared at her sister for a moment and then turned on her heel, stalking back to her room without a word.

  “Stay away from her,” Brianne said as soon as the door closed behind Tess. “I’m serious, Clay. She’s vulnerable, and you don’t need to be taking advantage of that.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention for the past decade, but your sister knows how to take care of herself.”

  Brianne made a dismissive gesture that would’ve pissed Tess off if she’d been here to see it. “You think I haven’t been watching out for her this whole time?”

  “You’ve been in the army. How much ‘watching’ could you do?”

  “I can do enough,” she said, a familiar stubborn set to her jaw. “Why do you think a reporter with her skills hasn’t been given more dangerous assignments?”

  I let out a low whistle. “If you think she’s pissed at you for lying to her all those years ago, that’s nothing compared to what she’s going to be when she finds out you’ve been fucking with her career.”

  “She’s not going to find out.” A steely look had come into Brianne’s eyes. “You keep your mouth shut and your pants zipped.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, but the sound of the door behind me shut it again. I wasn’t necessarily going to follow Brianne’s orders, but this wasn’t the time to make that fact known.

  “We’re going to work in two groups,” Tess said as she came back into the living room. “Sylvia and I will search to the east. The two of you are going to search to the west.”

  “Tess, I don’t think–” I began.

  “I don’t care what you think,” she cut me off. “You and Brianne can argue as much as you want as long as you’re looking for Luis. I don’t have the energy to deal with your shit today on top of everything else.”

  Dammit!

  I shoved my fists into my pockets rather than putting a hole in Sylvia’s wall like my temper wanted me to. I needed to be patient. Things with Tess and me would get better once we got back to the States. What happened between her and Brianne was another matter, but it wasn’t my business.

  Just when had I decided that I wanted to still be involved with Tess when we got back home?

  The question startled me enough that I almost missed Tess and Sylvia heading out.

  “Be careful,” I called after them before turning to Brianne, who was looking even more sullen than she had a minute ago.

  This was going to be fun.

  And I meant that in the most sarcastic way possible.

  “I think we’ll cover more ground if we split up,” Brianne said. “You take southwest, and I’ll take northwest. We go three miles, then cut around to come down from the north and up from the south on the east side. We do that, and we’ll be able to tell Tess that we did all we could.”

  “What rank are you again?” I asked. “Because you sound a lot more like you’re used to giving orders than taking them. Private First Class? Corporal?”

  “Staff Sergeant, actually.” She somehow managed to look down her nose at me even though she was a few inches shorter than me. “And you’re, what, doing the exact same shit you were doing ten years ago?”

  “I’m a profiler with the FBI,” I said, keeping my voice flat. “I don’t exactly have ranks to climb.”

  She shrugged. “Guess that means I’m in charge.”

  I made a scoffing sound. “How do you figure?”

  “Because I’m the one giving orders. Now, let’s go.”

  This was going to get really old, really fast. “Let’s get something straight,” I said. “This is not a military mission. It is, however, something Tess wants us to do. How about we agree to do what we did when we were looking for Tess and focus on the one person we can both agree we want to see home safe?”

  For a moment, she looked like she’d rather do anything but agree. Then she nodded. “We look for this asshole, and whether we find him or not, we get Tess out of here.”

  “Agreed.”

  When I got back to Denver, Ray was going to owe me a steak dinner. Maybe I’d have him pay for a nice meal for Tess and me. A date, like the one we should’ve had years ago.

  Twenty-Two

  Tess

  “Thank you,” I said to Sylvia as we walked away from the house. “I appreciate you coming with me. I couldn’t handle being around either of them right now.”

  “Things were getting heated in there,” she said, her eyes meeting mine before beginning to scan the street again. “If you want to talk about it…”

  I started to shake my head, but then paused. I didn’t have anyone else to talk to about this. I had acquaintances, but not friends. Not really. I’d never trusted anyone enough to let them close. Sylvia, however, didn’t have to be close to me to understand what was going on.

  “How much has Brianne told you about our childhood?” I asked as I scanned the area for Luis.

  “Enough to know that she would do anything for you,” Sylvia said with a lift of her shoulder. “No matter the cost to her.”

  Said like that, I almost felt guilty for being angry with Brianne. Almost. “That’s still no excuse for what she did.”

  Sylvia’s dark eyes exuded understanding as she let me talk.

  “She helped raise me,” I said. “She was my best friend. My only friend until I met Clay. All three of us got along, but Clay and I had always been closer. That’s what made things so much worse. Thinking that the two of them had been together, knowing how I felt…” I had to force the words past the lump in my throat. “That betrayal fucked me up.”

  “It would,” Sylvia agreed. “The two people you cared for the most, betraying you in that way.”

  I rubbed my temple, trying to soothe away the headache building there. “Now I find out it had all been a lie. I spent sixteen years angry with the first boy I ever loved, and it was all for nothing. He hadn’t done anything wrong. It had all been Brianne.”

  Sylvia stopped and put her hand on my arm. But instead of offering advice as I thought she would, she pointed a block up where a young man stood on the corner.

  “Is that Luis?”

  I studied him for a moment, then shook my head. “Too short.”

  “He might have seen him.”

  We made our way over to the young man, and the closer I got, the more differences I could see between him and my friend.

  “Hola,” Sylvia said with a smile. “¿Has visto a un joven llamado Luis?”

  The guy shook his head and rattled something off in thickly accented Spanish. Sylvia rolled her eyes and said something back. The stranger grinned and shrugged.

  “What was that all about?” I asked. “I know Spanish, but I couldn’t follow what he said.”

  “He was hoping we were propositioning him,” Sylvia said with another roll of her eyes. “More or less.”

  “Lovely,” I said dryly. “Nice he took the rejection well.”

  “I d
idn’t ask before,” Sylvia said as we started to walk again. “How far are we going to go? How far do you think we should walk?”

  I wanted to tell her that we would keep going until we found him, but I knew that wasn’t reasonable. There were two of us to cover a hell of a lot of territory, and we had no clue when Luis had left the house. He could’ve come this exact same way hours ago, and Sylvia and I would never know.

  “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I don’t know if I’m out here because I’m actually concerned about Luis or because I feel like my brain is on overload and this was the only way I thought I’d be able to get any peace.”

  Sylvia gave me a quick hug. “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, and Brianne certainly didn’t tell me much about what brought the three of you to Costa Rica. What I can tell you is that those two care about you more than anything, and that I can see you care about them too. Take the time you need to figure things out, but don’t give up.”

  Sylvia’s words stayed with me as we resumed walking down a sidewalk that became more uneven and cracked the farther we went. After two blocks, I started to talk again, telling her the rest of the story of what had happened, all the way through the pieces of memory that had come back to me last night. Granted, I didn’t give her graphic details, but it was enough to paint a picture.

  When I finished, we’d gone more than a mile, and I still wasn’t any closer to sorting out my thoughts than I had been before. Sylvia was right. I wanted to be able to go back to her house after this, forgive Brianne and Clay, and move on with my life. I didn’t know what that meant yet, but I did know that it’d be nice to live without all that baggage.

  “Before we go back, I want to tell you something,” Sylvia said, reaching out to touch my arm. “I was wrong before. Don’t wait.”

  I looked over at her. “Don’t wait for what?”

  “I understand wanting to process everything, to work it all out before you talk to them, but take my advice…don’t wait.” A flicker of pain went across her eyes. “When Brianne told me that she was leaving, and things were over between us, I accepted it because I thought that was what she wanted. I thought if I didn’t make it hard for her to leave, if we stayed friends, she’d see how much she missed being with me.”