Darker: The Inquirer Page 10

  I either had to deal with this shit or face the fact that I’d never have anything more than those random hook-ups at the club.

  Shit.

  Fifteen

  Bradyn

  I loved my work. I really did. All the difficulties that came with doing documentaries – people who didn’t want to talk, weeding out lies and truth, bad weather, bad food, bad hotels – none of those things could keep me from doing what I was meant to do. It wasn’t some type of mystical destiny or fate thing. Just that I was one of those fortunate people whose passion and skillset happened to match up.

  Learning what I had about Nyx’s case, I was more determined than ever to finish my documentary. Even though I didn’t know all the details of what sorts of things my family was being investigated for, my gut said that our two investigations would end up with a lot of the same information. Nyx wouldn’t have to worry about hiding things from me or breaking her clients’ confidentiality if I figured it out myself.

  Being in the loop wasn’t my main reason to step up my own research skills, though. I’d let myself get distracted over the last few weeks, and I couldn’t do that. If I truly wanted to have a relationship with Nyx, a real relationship, I needed to find a balance. I’d had girlfriends in the past, and there’d always been a period at the beginning where I’d found myself thinking about them when I was doing other things – the ‘honeymoon’ phase – but I’d never had a problem maintaining work or just normal life stuff.

  Nyx was different.

  She invaded every part of my life. No matter what I was doing. Like how I’d been washing my dinner dishes last night when I’d glanced toward her cabin and wondered if she’d gone to the house for dinner. If she and the Huxleys had talked about me. What she’d been thinking about the things we’d talked about earlier this week.

  It was Friday now, and she still hadn’t given me an answer.

  I’d seen her, so I knew she wasn’t actively avoiding me. It wasn’t like she was ignoring me when we were around each other, either. She’d answer a greeting, make small talk during a meal. She even smiled toward me. Toward me. Not at me. I didn’t know if anyone else made the distinction, but I did.

  I knew the difference.

  I’d felt what it was like to have that smile focused on me, to be the person she looked to for comfort and safety…and sex.

  Yes, I wanted more than a physical relationship with her, but I wasn’t dead. Sex with Nyx wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced before. I didn’t know if it was because I’d never done the submission thing for anyone else, or if it was that the two of us just had a different connection.

  At some point, we’d probably have bad sex. That was just how the odds worked. Honestly, I hoped that we’d be together long enough to have bad sex. And angry sex. And make-up sex…again. Romantic. Kinky. Vanilla.

  I’d take her any way I could get her.

  Thunder’s hard head hit my back and knocked me into the stall wall. When I glared at him over my shoulder, he gave me the most annoyed look a horse could muster.

  “Thank you,” I said as I turned around and patted his nose. “You just proved my point. I know better than to go into a horse stall distracted.” I dug a sugar cube out of my pocket and held it out. “I know, I know. I should have given you the treat right away, and I let my mind wander.”

  I patted him again before leaving the stall, latching it behind me. My last lesson of the day had canceled, allowing me to get the rest of my work done more than a half-hour early. I’d spent the past few evenings collecting information. I hoped to sort it tonight and then spend the weekend seeing what I needed to confirm and where to find that information.

  For every dozen rumors I’d collected, more than half would prove false with only a few facts. Half of those would fall apart with more dedicated research. What I had left, however, would be exactly what I needed for my film. After I finished with this bit, the only thing I’d have left to do was look into my family. I’d done a little here and there, but I couldn’t put it off anymore.

  I’d gotten some recognition for the last film I’d produced, but I had a feeling this one was going to be explosive. Before, the interest had been fairly localized. Around Savannah, it’d been big because people had known the family history, but it had still been local politics. Exposing the lies of the upper class, the wealthy, that was the kind of thing that garnered national attention.

  I wasn’t in it to make a name for myself, but people needed to see the truth. How could we evolve as a people, move past hatred, if we denied its existence? No one was perfect, and I completely believed in forgiveness and that people could change, but the only way it could happen would be for us to be honest about where we’d come from.

  The fact that I’d be exposing my own family also added an element of scandal that people would love. For some, it’d be proof of my authenticity, my willingness to betray family. For others, it’d just be the juicy, soap opera type shit that people just couldn’t seem to get enough of.

  The work I was doing was important, but it didn’t stop me from looking over at Nyx’s cabin as I walked back to mine. It didn’t stop me from wanting to see her or wanting to hear her say that she wanted us to spend some time together before she left.

  “Pathetic,” I muttered as I went inside.

  I stripped as I walked to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind me. Shower. Work. That’s all I should’ve been thinking about.

  That damn woman had me tied up in knots, and there was only one way I could think of to clear her out of my head long enough for me to get absorbed into my work.

  I stepped into the shower and ducked under the spray, closing my eyes as I did so.

  I’d get off, then get working.

  Maybe at some point, I’d figure out why the hell I was waiting around for someone who clearly didn’t want to be with me. Maybe I’d figure out why I thought she was worth all this…and probably more.

  It didn’t take much to get me hard. Just the thought of Nyx joining me in the shower, drops of water beading on her skin, rolling down the slope of her breast to hang on the tip of one tight nipple. Another making a path down to her belly button, and then lower to disappear into dark curls.

  I wrapped my hand around my cock and put the other on the wall to keep me balanced. The last thing I needed was to fall in the shower while jerking off. That would’ve been beyond embarrassing.

  My grip was loose as I moved my fist over my dick and felt it thicken with the friction. I would’ve preferred her hand. Her mouth. Anything of hers she’d offer. The fantasy spun off from there.

  She took my hand away and put hers in its place. A shiver ran up my spine as she ran her neat, short nails over my skin. Her thumb swiped across the top of my cock, taking a drop of pre-cum with it. Our eyes met, and she lifted her hand, licking her thumb clean.

  I gripped her ass as she leaned into me, my fingers digging into her flesh as she licked a path from my bellybutton to my chest. When her hot mouth closed on my nipple, I cursed. Then she bit down, and the jolt of pain made me growl. I buried my hand in her hair, yanking her head back to give me access to her mouth.

  Pulling her body flush against mine, I ravaged her mouth without an ounce of gentleness. Her nipples were hard little points, and she writhed in my arms, nails scratching down my back deep enough to mark me. I ran a finger between her ass cheeks, stopping to rub that puckered ring. She gasped, and I swallowed the sound.

  I lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around me, my cock sliding into her with one smooth stroke. She threw her head back, begging me to take her, own her, make her mine. Our bodies moved with and against each other as I kissed my way down her throat. I wasn’t going to last long, not when we were skin-to-skin like this, but she’d come with me. I’d make sure of it.

  Harder and harder, I drove into her, using gravity to my advantage. I couldn’t have filled her any deeper, but it wasn’t enough. I needed to make it so that she’d never be with an
y other man without thinking of how good this was between us. I wanted her to feel me for days, to know that no one would ever make her as complete as I did. She whimpered, and her body tightened around mine, warning me of her impending climax.

  At the same moment I pulled her down on my cock as hard as I dared, I pushed the tip of my finger into her ass. She screamed my name, every muscle clamping down, and I followed her, losing myself in her as surely as I’d filled her with my release…

  “Fuck,” I groaned as my cum disappeared down the drain.

  This woman was going to be the death of me…and I’d never regret it.

  Sixteen

  Nyx

  Coincidence versus fate.

  No one could believe in both, right? They were opposites. Either things just randomly happened, or they were meant to be. Except, where did assholes and manipulation come in? Was that a third option?

  This philosophical shit had been running through my head ever since I’d left Bradyn’s cabin earlier this week. The high I’d gotten from the orgasms he’d given me had lasted long enough for me to put away my stuff for the night. I’d managed to fall asleep thinking about sex, but I’d been up at dawn, trying to figure out what it meant that my case, the man I’d been fucking, the people who own the place where I was staying, and my stepfather’s family’s law firm had all somehow managed to come together in fucking Savannah, Georgia.

  I stared at the wall where I’d made my new list, like if I looked at it hard enough, the answers would magically appear.

  ‘Cuz that sort of shit had worked in other areas of my life.

  Point one. I’d been hired by a law firm in New York to look into one of their client’s family history, which took me to Savannah, where her family had been from generations ago.

  Point two. The first person I met, the person who’d gotten me out of jail and found me a place to stay was part of the family my clients were going after.

  Point three. My clients were connected to the people who owned the ranch where I was staying. The same ranch where that same man worked.

  Okay, all of that had three connecting points. A triangle, I supposed.

  I’d worried that I’d been set up, that Bradyn had known who I was and why I’d come. Now, I didn’t. I’d been prepared to write that off as coincidence. Just one of those things that happened.

  Except those points weren’t all that I had.

  Point four. The law firm employed by that family – Bradyn’s family – was the same law firm that my abusive asshole of a stepfather had come to New York from. One that his family had started three generations ago.

  It was that point that made me wonder what I was missing.

  Was it possible that all of those points could be coincidences?

  Or was it fate? Destiny? The universe?

  Was that what had brought Bradyn and me together each of these times? Some higher power that wanted us together?

  I had a hard time believing that anyone or anything actually cared about two random people hooking up a few times.

  Except that wasn’t all he wanted anymore. Or, honestly, not what he’d wanted in the first place. For all I knew, it’d never been some one-off for him. It wasn’t like we’d really spent much time talking that first time, and after that, all sorts of shit kept coming up. It was hard to have a conversation about where we saw our future if I kept having flashbacks to my shitty past.

  Not that I would’ve had an answer for him then any more than I did now.

  Then again, maybe I would’ve been able to tell him no at that point. One night with him at Hades could’ve been it. I wouldn’t have told him about my stepfather or about being in juvie. I wouldn’t have cared that he’d set himself at odds with his family.

  I shook my head and sighed. I didn’t know why I bothered with the what if shit. It never did anyone any good. I couldn’t change the past and all thinking about it did was give me one more headache to deal with.

  The whole coincidence-destiny question, however, was one that I still needed to figure out. Mostly because there was a third option.

  Manipulation.

  I hadn’t mentioned anything to Bradyn about my personal connection to Check & Sons because I hadn’t wanted to risk him finding out what I’d done as a teenager. I wasn’t in his head, though, so I didn’t have a way to know for certain that he didn’t already know. That he hadn’t been orchestrating this from moment one.

  Even as I thought it, I rejected it. I’d already thought once that he’d had some ulterior motive, that he’d known my identity when we first met. I couldn’t go through that all over again, especially since I knew it’d be a lie.

  Hard as it was for me to admit, there was only one reason I was even considering the idea that Bradyn had been responsible for everything that’d happened in Savannah. I was terrified.

  I’d gone to him automatically after my flashback a few days ago, like it was some sort of instinct to reach for him. If I’d been thinking, I probably would’ve talked myself out of it, but I’d been too freaked out to make a logical choice. If I hadn’t felt safe with him, I wouldn’t have gone. What happened afterward was what had me scared and looking for excuses.

  The fact that I couldn’t find distance a good enough excuse was another warning that I was in deeper than I liked. But, if he’d lied and manipulated, I’d feel justified in pushing him away.

  I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t falsely accuse him just to make myself feel better.

  I also couldn’t spend the rest of my time here hiding, if for no other reason than the fact that this investigation was too tied up with Bradyn’s life. Avoiding him wasn’t the answer, and it wasn’t fair to him. No matter what happened between us from here on out, he was a good guy. Not perfect, not without faults, but he was a good man.

  I rubbed my burning eyes and wondered if I’d be able to get much rest tonight. I’d been having dreams ever since Tuesday night, the vivid, intense dreams that made sleep not very restful. They weren’t nightmares, though, and it wasn’t fear making me wake up sweaty and with a pounding heart. And it wasn’t being scared that had made me come more than once while I’d been sleeping.

  Just thinking about them made my pussy throb.

  “Dammit.” My head thudded against the back of my chair. “I don’t need to fuck him again.”

  My body disagreed.

  Hell, every part of me disagreed. As much as I was tempted to write things off as purely physical, I couldn’t do it without lying. Sure, there’d been stuff we hadn’t talked about, but it wasn’t as if we’d only ever spent time having sex.

  When it got down to it, that was what bothered me the most. It’d hurt when he’d made those accusations. It’d be worse if I chose to get to know him better, and then things imploded.

  That was the same reason I’d tried to keep Kaimi at arm’s length back when we first met, but I’d barely been a teenager, and I’d needed someone to watch my back. That had pushed me into trusting her much faster than I would have under other circumstances.

  I needed a drink.

  I got up and discovered that I’d apparently had my last beer at lunch, which left me with water or apple juice. At least Shadae had remembered that I didn’t drink sweet tea, and I hadn’t even needed to explain why.

  I pushed the thought away as soon as it came. No good would come from falling down that particular rabbit hole.

  Juice it was.

  Except I didn’t really want the juice. And, honestly, I didn’t actually want a beer. I wanted to keep pretending that if I just ignored everything, my life could keep moving on the way it always had. Then again, my “always had” had never included being in Savannah and trying to figure out what I wanted with the smoking hot cowboy next door.

  I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on the freezer door. I knew what I wanted to do with Bradyn. That was the problem. I knew it but was too chickenshit to do anything about it.

  Rose’s text tone pulled me out of my thoughts before t
hey could get too X-rated. I went back to the desk and opened her message.

  I got asked to the Halloween dance!!!

  Half a dozen gifs followed, all of them showing one form of excitement or another, and each one made me smile.

  I thought you and your friends were going as a group?

  We are, but they still asked! They’re going to come with all of us, but they really wanted it to just be them and me.

  I tapped out my reply and added a few gifs of my own. Who is it?

  Ty Gilmore.

  I knew that name. Ty was a year older than Rose and had moved into Rose’s neighborhood around Christmas last year. A few months after they’d met, Ty had told Rose that they identified as non-binary, and that was why they’d had to move. Ty’s dad had beaten them when he’d found them trying on eyeliner. He was in jail now, and Ty’s mom had moved the two of them to New York City, hoping Ty would be able to find a place here. It’d been no surprise to any of us that Rose had immediately declared herself their protector.

  I’m happy for you. I smiled as I wrote the message. Rose wasn’t one to go all weird around someone she liked, but the last couple months, I’d suspected she’d had a crush on Ty.

  All of us decided we want to go as Guardians of the Galaxy now that we have enough people. I know you already bought me that zombie costume, but I really want all of us to match. Is it okay if I get something else? I won’t be mad if you say no.

  Leave it to Rose to make her good news into her worrying about my feelings. I loved that kid so damn much it scared me sometimes. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to handle being a mother.

  Not that motherhood was really an option for me at this point. Hell, I didn’t even know if I’d ever want to have kids. I needed to get my own shit together before I started worrying about anyone else.

  That was a thought for another time, though.

  Of course it’s okay. I’ll bet Sitara can use the zombie one at the shop for decoration.