Craving HIM Read online

  “You’re my mother.” I closed my eyes as I said it, the familiar prick of guilt coming immediately after I spoke. My feelings about Jacqueline St. James-Snow were complicated to say the least.

  Cecily seemed to pick up on it. Her voice was firm, but kind, as she said, “I’m not the one who raised you, Dominic. She did, and she’s still very much a part of your life. I don’t want us to be at odds.”

  Pinching the bridge of my nose, I had to admit silently that I didn’t want that either. Despite everything that had happened over the past few months, despite knowing for years that I had been adopted, I couldn’t think of Jacqueline St. James-Snow as anything other than my mother.

  “I guess I’m going to be one of those guys with two moms,” I said, trying to keep my tone light. “She is my mother, yes. But so are you. It’s…surprisingly easy to think of you in that role, Cecily.” It wasn't easy for me to admit things like that, but Aleena had been working with me on it, especially where the people I loved were concerned. Sometimes people really did need to hear it.

  “I’m…glad.” There was a catch in her voice and I hoped I hadn’t made her cry.

  “I’ll talk to her,” I said, rushing to fill the silence. “But you should know that she’s not always an easy woman to be around.”

  To my surprise, Cecily laughed. “If you think this comes as a surprise to me Dominic, you're mistaken. I know how Jacqueline can be.”

  Something in her tone made me sit up straighter. “You two know each other already.”

  There was a moment of hesitation before she answered, “Yes, though not well. As I said, in my line of work, you get to know a great many people.”

  I should have already figured that out. My mother was indeed a powerhouse, at least in social circles. Granted, Cecily was a good sixteen years younger than Jacqueline, but with Cecily's charity work, they would've definitely moved in the same circles.

  “Were you ever...friends?” It was strange to think of how close Cecily and I had been to each other and had never met.

  “Hardly.” Cecily sighed. “Though if things had been different, we might have been.”

  Different.

  She’d given birth to me twenty-nine years ago, but she'd been told that I'd died at birth. In reality, I'd been taken away and sold to the Snows. Everyone had known Cecily's story when she'd begun her charity work, but my mother had never even considered that her adopted son could've been Cecily's dead baby. Why would she? A part of me wondered if things would've been different if the two women had been friends. If Cecily had met me as a child.

  Instead, up until about a month ago, she'd believed I was dead. She'd lived her entire life since my birth championing for the causes of children and young mothers, trying to reach out to other women who were young, pregnant and afraid. She developed programs for youth who had problems with drugs and alcohol, supplying them with the support they needed to get clean, finish school and find jobs. Her programs were designed for those with money and those without. She’d changed lives. She’d saved lives.

  She did it for you, Aleena had told me when we'd first found Cecily. It still moved me.

  I wasn’t surprised to hear that the woman who’d changed her life after losing me didn’t get along with the woman who’d raised me as her own. They were as different as night and day. While both of them loved me, Jacqueline thought the world had been handed to her and she deserved it. Cecily, on the other hand knew how cruel the world was and she fought to make it a better place.

  “You needn’t worry that we hate each other or anything like that, Dominic,” Cecily said, unaware of my thoughts. “We've always been polite and cordial to each other. Although…well, I imagine things will be quite different now.”

  “Yes.” That was all I said. I wasn’t about to say what I really thought. Different didn’t even touch on how things were going to be between my birth mother and my adopted mother.

  ***

  She did it for you.

  Friday, those words were ringing in my head louder than ever.

  It had been almost a month now since I’d walked into that hotel, since I’d almost stormed into the fundraiser my birth mother had been hosting for one of her charities. It had been one of the ones geared toward underprivileged girls from the inner city, one that I now knew was considered to be one of the most radical, and life-altering, programs to ever hit New York City. She was currently working to expand into several other cities.

  “Dominic, I’ve got some more information on that chain of jewelry stores. It just came through in my email.”

  I glanced up at Aleena with a smile, but I wasn’t really paying that much attention. I’d already lost interest in the matchmaking company she and Fawna had helped me get off the ground and I was playing with the idea of opening up a line of jewelry stores. There was a chain that was faltering and I’d thought perhaps I’d buy them out and slowly revamp them, make them into a luxury chain with specialty pieces.

  Now, though…

  “Dominic?”

  I took the neatly bound report and flipped through it, seeing both the images she and Amber—my administrative assistant who handled only the business aspects of my life—had compiled from the chain as it looked now and artist renderings of what could be done in a year, two years, five years.

  It look amazing. Perfect. Luxurious.

  And…empty.

  I tossed it onto the floor of the limo and leaned forward, running my hand over my face. In the front, Maxwell was driving, but the window was up, offering Aleena and me some privacy. As she picked up the report, I struggled to find the words to express what I wanted to say. Normally, that wasn’t a problem when it came to work.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, frowning. She flipped through the report, pausing to look over a few key pages before looking up at me. “I’m still waiting on some data from Amber, but—”

  “It’s not the report,” I said, cutting her off. “I can bail the chain out, take over. Hell, in a year or so, I’ll be bored with it too and looking to do something else. Then what?”

  “Then you find something else.” She undid her seat belt and moved to sit next to me instead of across from me. After she’d clicked the restraint on, she took my hand.

  “Something else.” I felt empty even saying it. “And when does it get to be enough, Aleena?”

  She pressed her hand to my cheek, her soft green eyes holding mine. “What’s this about?”

  I took the report she still held and looked at it. “This…it’s not enough anymore. This…hell, the agency. The hotels. What difference do they make?”

  “They provide jobs, for one.” She leaned forward, a puzzled expression on her face.

  I curled my arm around her shoulders, breathing in the warm female scent of her. I wanted to pull her onto my lap and lose myself in her. That might ease the chaos. Might help me stop feeling like I was losing myself in one pointless project after another instead.

  She did it for you.

  It clicked then.

  So simple.

  So damn simple.

  “What if I don’t look for something else?” I said slowly as Aleena nestled her head against my shoulder.

  “Hmm? You want to hang with Trouver L’Amour for a while longer?”

  “No.” Snorting, I looked out the window. With my hand tangled in her curls, I began to toy with the idea forming inside my head. “No business this time, Aleena. I want to do what Cecily is doing.”

  When she lifted her head, I turned to meet her gaze.

  She didn’t say anything right away and when she did, her question was slow, thoughtful. Almost curious. “You want to do something for teenaged mothers?”

  “No…well, not exactly. Cecily seems to have that pretty well under control.” I grimaced and added, “Not that there’s ever going to be enough attention focused on teenaged girls who get shoved to the background so they don’t embarrass their families.” An idea was forming. “But that’s not what I h
ad in mind. I want to focus on helping missing children get reunited with their parents. On human trafficking, kidnap victims and their families. That sort of thing.”

  Aleena’s eyes widened fractionally.

  I braced myself without realizing I had tightened every muscle in my body. I didn’t even notice that I was holding my breath, not until it burst out of me in a rush when she leaned forward and kissed my cheek.

  “Dominic, I think that’s an amazing idea.”

  “Thanks.” I tugged her back up against me and closed my eyes. I’d spent most of my life telling myself that getting somebody else’s approval didn’t matter. Then I’d gone out of my way to prove that to everybody around me.

  But Aleena…what she thought mattered.

  “Can you start looking into what I need to do? Businesses, well, I know business inside and out, but the only experience I’ve got with charities is how to write a check.” Eyes still closed, I started to toy with the curls falling loose to her shoulders. “I'll talk to Amber about still dealing with business stuff, but I want to do this with you.”

  I felt her smile against my shoulder.

  “I guess this will be a learning experience for both of us.”

  ***

  Aleena’s voice drifted to me from down the hall.

  “Yes, it’s fine…no, just the four of us.”

  I heard her talking to the staff as she checked on the preparation for the meal. She’d brought me a glass of scotch earlier, but it was still sitting on the table behind me, untouched.

  I stared out the window, not really seeing the beautifully manicured lawn that was the view from the window. I’d thought that deciding on the charity idea would settle my chaotic thoughts some, but my head was still a wreck. My mind was never a very calm place to begin with, but even for my ADHD brain, this was something else. And it wasn't only in my head. My muscles were tight and tense. Everything in me was on edge.

  Part of me wanted to call Cecily and Jefferson, tell them not to come tonight. When my mood got like this, it wasn’t always a good idea to be around people, especially people I liked, because my asshole side started to come through strong and clear.

  But I wanted to be a better guy than that.

  I wanted to be the kind of son who earned the love that Cecily seemed to so obviously feel for me.

  I wanted to be the kind of man who Aleena deserved.

  I even wanted to be the kind of friend that Jefferson seemed to think I was.

  In other words, I had to control my asshole side.

  When I heard the click of Aleena’s heels on the hardwood floors, I didn’t turn around. I closed my eyes so I couldn't even see her reflection in the window.

  “Everything’s moving along on schedule,” she said from the doorway. “We’ll have time for cocktails before dinner is ready.”

  I nodded, expecting her to walk away. As always, she surprised me. When I heard her moving toward me, I turned to face her, feeling the familiar tightening in my stomach that came every time I saw her.

  She was wearing a knee-length dress with thin straps that bared her shoulders, clung to her full breasts and skimmed down over her torso before flaring out at the curve of her hips. It was sexy and simple, elegant in a classic way.

  She stopped in front of me, her head cocked. “What’s wrong, Dominic?”

  I reached up and traced my thumb across her lower lip.

  “I don’t know.” Shaking my head, I studied her mouth, the way her skin gave when I pressed lightly. A jolt of arousal went through me. I'd never wanted someone the way I wanted her. It had been that way from the first moment I'd seen her.

  I dragged my hand down to her throat and her head fell back, exposing her neck. It was a delicate curve and when I pressed down, I felt her pulse pounding under the fragile shield of her skin.

  “Would you like me to do anything for you…Sir?”

  The throaty purr of her voice immediately brought flame to the fire that always seemed to be waiting for her. My dick started to harden and I looked past her to the door. “Go shut the door, Aleena.”

  She did and I leaned back against the window, staring at her ass as it swayed under the material of her dress. She had the most amazing body.

  “Stop there,” I said when she'd come just a few steps back towards me. My voice was rough and I could feel myself starting to crack. “Undress. I don’t want you getting mussed up.”

  Her tongue slid out to wet her lips. “Am I allowed to speak, Sir?”

  “Yes.” Sometimes I enjoyed controlling how much noise she was allowed to make, but other times, I loved hearing her sounds of pleasure. Right now, I needed that. Needed the distraction of her voice.

  “What else am I allowed to do, Sir?” She unzipped the dress and I watched as it fell down to her hips. She caught it and dragged it off, draping it over the nearby chair so it wouldn’t wrinkle. She was wearing a set of matching scarlet undergarments, bits of silk and lace that made her look even more gorgeous.

  “What would you like to do?”

  The question caught us both by surprise. It wasn't one I generally asked, even if we were having regular sex. I trusted her to tell me what she wanted then.

  She didn’t answer right away, stripping away her bra and panties, but leaving on her equally red heels. After all, I hadn’t told her to take them off. They made her already amazing legs look even more perfect.

  Her eyes met mine—one of the ways I wasn't like other Dominants. I liked seeing her face, the look in her eyes when I pleasured her.

  “I think I’d like to take care of you, Sir.”

  My stomach clenched. “I’m your Dominant, Aleena,” I said, my voice tight. “It’s my job to take care of you.”

  “I’m the woman who loves you. Something has you unhappy. Sometimes I need to be the one who takes care of you,” she reminded me.

  She'd told me that before, that she trusted me to be her Dominant, but that I also needed to trust her to take care of me as well. We were more than just a sexual Dominant and Submissive relationship. She would submit in the bedroom, but there were times I'd need to trust her.

  Running my tongue across my teeth, I studied her. “What did you have in mind?”

  She came toward me, slowly, and I knew she was giving me a chance to take control the way I usually did. She understood just how hard it was for me to give it up, even like this.

  Her eyes stayed on mine as she reached for the buttons of my shirt. It wasn’t a formal dinner, so I wasn’t wearing a suit or tuxedo. Part of me wished I was wearing more than just that linen shirt and a pair of trousers, though, because it was an intoxicating kind of pleasure, to have her slowly undress me.

  After she’d slipped the shirt away, she moved her hands to my belt. Her eyes met mine and I could see the desire glowing there. Without looking away from my face, she undid my belt and sank to her knees in front of me, taking my pants and underwear with her. I was already half-hard, but with her so close, that was rapidly changing.

  “I love your body.” Aleena’s voice was soft, shaky now, and her cheeks were flushed.

  “What parts?” I loved hearing her talk like this and she knew it.

  “Your…” She licked her lips. “Your cock. Your mouth. Your hands. Everything about you.”

  Damn.

  “I love your body too. I really love your mouth.” I looked at the body part in question.

  She smiled slowly. “Do you want me to use my mouth on your cock, Sir?”

  Fuck yes. I couldn't even find the words, but I knew she was waiting for me to give her the go-ahead. I nodded.

  It was an erotic little game, me letting her pretend to drive the show. And yet, more and more, I realized it wasn’t pretend. She owned me. All of me.

  She lightly ran her fingers alongside my shaft and it twitched as her touch sent electricity buzzing through my body, but it was nothing compared to the need that gripped me. A need for her, for all of her.

  She wrapped her lips a
round the head of my cock and I moaned. Her mouth was so fucking hot. She rested her hands on my hips as she took more of me, her tongue working around the head.

  I fisted one hand in her hair, but didn’t attempt to take over. This was something I'd never had with anyone else before. The ability to let myself go. To let someone else take care of me.

  I closed my eyes as she found the rhythm that I liked, hissing out a breath when she scraped her teeth over the vein that ran along the underside of my dick. When she took me deeper, my eyes opened in surprise. The head of my cock bumped against the back of her throat and she looked up at me. It wasn't easy for her to take all of me so I rarely asked her to do it. Her fingers tensed against my hips and then her throat relaxed to let me in. I swore as she swallowed, my hand tightening in her hair. She moaned inside her throat and the vibrations went straight down to my balls.

  Growling, I tugged her away by the hair and stared down at her. Her lips were swollen, her nipples tight. A flush spread up from her breasts and I knew she was breathing heavily as much from arousal as from what she'd been doing.

  “No more,” I said.

  With a slow, unyielding pressure, I brought her to her feet. She held my gaze even as I took her mouth in a brutal kiss. I bit down on her bottom lip and felt her jerk against me.

  There was a dangerous edge to my voice when I pulled away. “Are you trying to tease me, Aleena?”

  “Do you want me to?” She licked her lip where I’d bitten her.

  I groaned and used my hold on her hair to turn her, forcing her up against the window. “You might want to brace yourself.”

  A full-body shiver ran through her as she pressed her hands against the glass.

  I drove inside her, hard and fast. She cried out and I did it again, thrusting up into her mercilessly. She was wet and tight, so slick and sweet. I wanted to fill her endlessly, stay locked inside her forever. The muscles of her cunt grabbed at me and I shuddered, catching her hip and holding her still when she pushed back.

  She tried to do it again and I jerked on her hair.

  “Be still,” I ordered.

  She stilled immediately. “Yes, Sir.”