Fear and Honor Read online

  “Club Privé.”

  Todd's eyebrows shot up, telling me that he knew exactly what sort of club it was. “Your uncle is Gavin Manning?”

  “You've heard of him.” I made it a statement rather than a question.

  “Yeah, he was in the news a while back. He and this lawyer were responsible for bringing down a human trafficking ring that was doing business through the club.”

  “Didn't it tie into a hit and run from almost ten years ago?” I asked. “I remember hearing about it.”

  Todd nodded. “The victim was his girlfriend or fiancée. She was even pregnant at the time. Didn't your uncle tell you any of this?”

  I shook my head. “He told me that he had a daughter and that her mother had died, but nothing else.” I leaned back in my seat. “Wow. I had no idea. I mean, I knew Carrie works on those sorts of cases, and that they make sure there isn't anything illegal going on at the club, but they never told me why.”

  “I'm sure it's not something they really want to think too much about,” Todd offered. “From what I remember, there was a lot that didn't even make the news, just spread around from person to person. I'm not sure how much of it is true, but if it is, I'm sure that's why they don't talk about it.”

  Curiosity piqued, I asked, “What did you hear?”

  Todd leaned closer and lowered his voice. “The guy who was running the whole thing, he tried to kidnap and sell the woman lawyer. Some people say he tried to rape her. No one really knows how bad things got. Only that there were injuries and that the cops found a whole lot of nasty shit when they searched the guy's place.”

  I was silent, letting it all sink in. I already liked Carrie and Gavin, but hearing how they put their lives on the line to stop something that awful made me think even better of them. Nana and Papa would've liked them. I wasn't sure if that meant my mother would, but at least I could tell her that they were good people.

  Eventually.

  I hadn't told her I’d planned to look for her half-brother. Considering how angry she'd been at me for leaving, I'd known that would only make things worse. I wanted to know more about Gavin before I decided to tell her about him. If he was some creep, all it would've done was make her more upset at the whole situation. Now, however, I could at least feel justified in pressing her to meet him.

  “So, that woman lawyer, do you know what happened to her?”

  I grinned as Todd's question pulled me out of my thoughts. “He married her, actually.”

  “Is that the Carrie woman you mentioned before?”

  I nodded. “She's really great.”

  “They must've kept her name out of the papers to prevent anyone from coming after her. It was a gutsy thing they did.” The admiration in his voice was clear.

  “It was,” I agreed.

  “Are you ready for dessert?” The waiter smiled down at us.

  I shook my head and looked at Todd.

  “Just the check,” he said.

  “Two checks,” I corrected.

  “One,” Todd insisted. He looked at me. “Dinner's my treat.”

  “Okay,” I agreed, but held up a finger. “But only if we get some drinks, and those are my treat.”

  “Deal.”

  “Taxi or subway?” Todd asked as he handed the waiter a credit card.

  We'd walked here from the callback, but I definitely didn't feel like walking now. I pulled my phone out. “I've got something better.”

  “What's better?”

  “Wait and see,” I said as I opened the app. Gavin had three town cars that were specifically on call for him and family. The one that had dropped me off at the callback was only a couple minutes out.

  As we walked outside ten minutes later, it was already dark, and the temperature had dropped a few degrees, making me glad we weren't walking. I shivered and pulled my coat more tightly around me. The sleek black town car was waiting at the curb.

  “There's our ride,” I said, gesturing at the car.

  “Seriously?” Todd gave me a searching look. “You're not like some senator's secret love child, are you?”

  A laugh bubbled out of me. “No, I'm not. My uncle has a town car service and an app.”

  I got into the backseat and waited for Todd to slide in next to me.

  “Where to, Miss Dawkins?” The driver glanced in the rearview mirror.

  I looked at Todd.

  “Club Privé?” His eyebrows went up and down.

  I remembered Gavin's warning about not getting him into trouble. But then I reasoned that if I didn't drink, then technically, I wouldn't be breaking any laws. And I'd already had a glass of wine, so I was okay with not having anything else.

  “Club Privé,” I repeated to the driver. “But take us to the employee entrance.”

  Todd shot me a questioning look.

  “Sneaking in through the back?” Todd said.

  I chuckled and shook my head. “We're not going to sneak. We'll go in the back way so I can tell Gavin that I'm there. And besides, this way we can skip the line.”

  The ride from the restaurant to the club wasn't very long, and as we bypassed the front door, I saw a handful of people heading inside. It was a Friday night, so I had no doubt the place would be packed.

  Once we were at the back door, Todd politely looked away as I ran the keycard and punched in the code. I grabbed his hand and pulled him after me as we went inside. It was nice to be able to hold his hand and not have to worry about him reading anything into it.

  I started to lead the way to the stairs when I saw that Gavin was already coming down them. His eyes narrowed when he saw me, but I knew he wasn't really annoyed until he spotted Todd behind me.

  “Hey, Gavin.” I gave him a bright smile. “This is Todd.”

  “I thought we had this talk.” Gavin glowered at Todd and then down at me. “You're not old enough to be in here during club hours, Bryne.”

  “I didn't go in through the front,” I said, giving him an imploring look.

  He raised an eyebrow. “That really doesn't make it any better.”

  “I came in this way so I could tell you that I was here. I don't want to drink. All I want is to blow off some steam.”

  “With him?”

  “Todd Emery.” Todd stepped around me and held out his hand. “I'm in a play with Bryne.”

  “Really?”

  Todd grinned. “And I'm gay...and I have a boyfriend.”

  Gavin smiled. “I like you better already.”

  “I had a feeling that would help.” Todd chuckled.

  Gavin turned to me. “That doesn't mean I like the idea of you being here.”

  “I just want to dance. I promise, no drinking.”

  “I'll keep an eye on her,” Todd said. “Water only for both of us, and I'll make sure she gets home safe.”

  After a few moments of silence, Gavin nodded. “All right, but if anything goes sideways, it'll be your ass.”

  Todd's expression was serious. “I don't doubt it.”

  Gavin gave me a hard look. “Go. Have fun.”

  Todd slid his arm around my waist as we walked out into the main room. It was different, coming in this time and knowing what to expect. Knowing that there'd be men and women in leather and chains, in barely-there clothes, made it easier not to stare when we walked past.

  The trio of people performing on stage, however, were a little harder to ignore. Two men and one woman. The men were strapped to a pair of crosses – the X kind – and the woman behind them was wielding a pair of floggers, alternating blows to their already pink skin. Judging by the way their erections were tenting their pants, they were thoroughly enjoying themselves.

  About half of the people in the club were watching the action on stage, but the other half were on the dance floor, and it was in that direction that Todd took me. We went right past the bar, and I was tempted to glance that way even though I knew Dax wasn't here. The gentle pressure on my hip, however, kept me moving, and then Todd was turning toward
me, and I focused on him.

  He pulled me close, one hand on either hip, and I draped an arm over his shoulder. It took less than three beats for the two of us to fall in sync with each other. One song blended into another, and my world became rhythm and sound. The feel of Todd's body moving against mine, the literal heat between us. It was good, solid, fun without the confusion of sexual attraction.

  Dancing with Todd told me that we'd be great together on stage. We had chemistry, and we could make the audience believe that we were in love. I was willing to bet that half of the people dancing around us thought we were together, and we weren't even trying.

  My job was solid at the moment.

  I was having a blast with Todd, and I was willing to bet that the two of us would become great friends. He would be a part of the new life I planned to build here.

  I could do this. Hell, I was doing it.

  I had a feeling, despite my bumpy start, I was going to like New York.

  Chapter 11

  After nearly tow hours of blowing off steam on the dance floor, we both settled in one of the couches, exhausted.

  “You're a great dancer,” Todd said as he handed me a bottle of water.

  “Thank you.” I took a long drink, letting the cool liquid slide down my throat before speaking again. “You're great too.”

  “Don't get me wrong, I love Hiram, but I miss dancing.”

  “Hiram doesn't dance?” I leaned closer to Todd, so I didn't have to shout as loud.

  He shook his head. “I got him to slow dance once or twice at a wedding, but that's about it. He claims he has no rhythm.” Todd bent closer and grinned. “He's right.”

  I chuckled and drained the rest of my water. “Well, if you ever want to blow off more steam on the dance floor, I'm available. As long as Hiram doesn't mind.”

  Todd waved a hand. “If anything, he'll be grateful that I found someone else to go with. He's not the possessive type.” He slung his arm around my shoulders. “He’ll love you.”

  The fact that he assumed I'd be meeting his boyfriend made me smile. “I'm sure I'll love him too.”

  “You ready to go, or do you want to stay a while longer?”

  I considered it for a moment but then reminded myself that Gavin was already pushing things by letting me be in the club at all.

  “I should probably get going.” I gave him a smile. “You can stay though. Have some fun.”

  Todd shook his head. “Aside from the fact that being at a sex club alone when one's boyfriend is out of town isn't a good idea, I promised your uncle that I'd make sure you got home safe.”

  “I don't think he meant for you to literally take me home.”

  Todd shrugged. “It's the least I could do for getting into one of the most exclusive clubs in the city for free.”

  “You really don't have to,” I argued.

  “I'm doing it,” he said firmly. “Let's go.”

  After the heat of the club, the winter air was extra frosty, but it felt good against my cheeks. I should've been exhausted after my long day, but I wasn't. If anything, the dancing had woken me up, and now the cold air energized me. Todd might've been taking me home, but I knew I wouldn’t be getting to sleep anytime soon.

  “So,” I asked as we started down the sidewalk, “was the club everything you thought it would be?”

  “More,” Todd said as we passed the line of taxis parked out front. “I mean, I'm not really into the whole BDSM scene, but I'd have been crazy not to take advantage of getting to see the inside of Club Privé.”

  “That's my ride right there.” I pointed at the car a few feet farther down the sidewalk. “He's one of Gavin's drivers, so we can drop you off first, and then he can take me home.”

  “We can argue semantics once we get out of the cold,” Todd said as he reached for the back door.

  “That didn't take very long.”

  I froze mid-step as a far too familiar voice cut into the conversation. I glanced up at Todd and saw him looking over my head. Shit, I hadn't imagined the voice. I forced a tight smile onto my face and turned.

  Dax pushed himself off the wall and sauntered toward us, his hands stuffed into his pockets. The expression on his face was frostier than the ice that had suddenly surrounded my heart.

  I folded my arms and tried not to let him see how much I really didn't want to be doing this. “Dax, this is Todd. Todd, Dax.”

  Dax gave him a once over, then clearly dismissed him. “You going to get him fired too? Or does he not work for your uncle?”

  “Bryne?” Todd put his hand on my elbow.

  “Let's go, Todd.” I started to turn, but a tight grip on my upper arm stopped me. I glared up at the owner. “Hands off, Dax.”

  Todd stiffened next to me, but Dax let me go before I had to worry about any macho displays of testosterone.

  “It's okay,” I said, keeping my eyes on my new friend.

  “Who's he?” Todd's expression was full of concern.

  “The guy who got to her before you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You're an ass, Dax.”

  Todd looked from me to Dax and back again. “I think the two of you have some...issues to work out.”

  “We really don't,” I said. “It's all been worked out.”

  Todd looked at Dax, then gave me a knowing smile. “Honey, trust me. You two need to talk. I'll get a taxi.”

  “Take the car,” I insisted. “I'll call another one.”

  He shook his head. “Not a chance. I promised I'd make sure you were safe. If you're taking one of your uncle's cars after your talk, the driver will make sure you get in safely. I'll take a taxi.” He glared over at Dax. “And if anything happens to her, I'll make sure Gavin knows exactly who she was with.”

  Todd leaned down and kissed my cheek before walking away.

  I sighed and turned toward Dax. If he thought I was taking a single step away from this car, he was nuts. We'd have it out here, then I’d get in the car and go home. Well, Gavin and Carrie’s home. Not DC home.

  “Say whatever it is you need to say, Dax. It's cold out here.”

  His eyes narrowed, and he took a step toward me. I'd almost forgotten how tall he was. How broad his shoulders were. The long, lean length of...shit. I seriously needed to stop.

  “I originally came here to apologize.” He glowered down at me. “But now I see I was just interrupting your latest hook-up. Don't let me stop you if you want to go after him.”

  “Do whatever you want, Dax. I don't care.”

  “Like hell you don't.” He took another step toward me, closing the distance between us until hardly any remained. “You want me.”

  “I don't.” I spoke through gritted teeth, determined not to be the first to back down.

  His gaze held mine for several long beats, and I could feel the tension between us building. Before I could decide what I wanted to do about it, his hands closed around my arms, and he yanked me toward him. His mouth came down on mine in a fierce, bruising kiss.

  I knew I should shove him away. I didn't want to be kissing him. At least, my brain didn't want to be. My body, however, was yearning to be even closer. Electricity hummed along my nerves, the interior heat chasing away the exterior cold. No matter how stupid I knew it was to be kissing him back, I couldn't bring myself to pull away.

  One arm slid around my waist, pulling me tight against his body. He buried his free hand in my hair, his tongue stroking across my lips until they parted. I clutched the front of his coat, hating myself even as I clung to him. When he finally broke the kiss, my breath came in pants, and it was all I could do to stay standing.

  Then I looked up at him and saw the smug expression on his face.

  “I think that counts as wanting me.”

  I shoved at his chest, catching him off guard enough to make him take a couple steps back. “If you kiss me again without my permission, I’ll knee you in the balls.”

  The smirk hardened. “Don't worry, sweetheart. I won't be doing th
at again. Just wanted to show you what you'll be missing with pretty-boy.”

  “First off, Dax, who I spend my time with is none of your business. You made it perfectly clear that what happened between us was only a one-time thing. In fact, I believe we agreed that neither one of us were looking for a relationship. Jealousy isn't a pretty color on you.”

  “I'm not jealous.”

  I raised an eyebrow but didn't argue. “Second, Todd has a boyfriend, asshole.”

  I turned and reached for the door handle. Suddenly, Dax's arms were around me, pinning me against the car. The front door opened, and the driver stepped out.

  “I suggest you unhand Mr. Manning's niece.” The tone was hard and demanding.

  “It's all right,” I said. “Dax won’t do anything stupid. Will you?”

  “Naw. I always think things through.”

  I waited until the driver got back into the car before I eased myself back around to look up at him. “Don't make me regret not asking him to kick your ass, because I'm pretty sure he could take you.”

  His eyes dropped to my mouth. “Why didn't you?”

  “Because I'm an idiot.”

  He leaned into me. “Somehow, I don't think that's the reason.”

  “Well, since you apparently know everything, why don't you tell me? And don't say that I want you. I want chocolate cake for breakfast. It doesn't mean I'm dumb enough to eat it.”

  Something very much like triumph flared in his eyes. “So you do want me.”

  I blew out an angry breath. “It's cold and I'm tired, Dax. Say whatever it is you want to say so we can go our separate ways.”

  “What if I don't want to go separate ways?”

  I rubbed my forehead. “First, you say you don't want a relationship. Then you act like a complete ass when I just wanted to talk about being friends. Then, to top it all off, you accuse me of getting you fired. What the hell are you going on about?”

  Dax's hands came up to cup my face, his palms hot against my cold skin. “I did say and do all of that.” His eyes drifted down to my lips again. “Fuck, Bryne. You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you.”