Saving Tess Page 9

  I tried to force my mind back to the problem Brianne and I were faced with – namely, how we were supposed to get the three of us out of the country unseen – but every time I tried to figure out a solution, my thoughts kept coming back to the problem of Tess and Luis.

  What would Bri and I do if Tess decided she wanted to stay with him rather than coming back to the States with us?

  I reminded myself that she had a job to go back to even though I wasn’t entirely certain that the Times hadn’t fired her when she’d been off the grid for two weeks. Since it hadn’t been her fault, I hoped they’d be understanding, but I knew that too often, employers only cared about the bottom line and not what circumstances had contributed to the issue. I also knew Tess wouldn’t give up her position without a fight, and the thought made me smile.

  But, just because she came back to the US with us didn’t mean she’d want anything to do with us. Granted, I hadn’t done what she thought – again – that I’d done. Once she learned the truth, she might return to how she’d felt about me before she’d gone missing. We could pick up where we’d left off, or at the very least, just start over from where we’d been the last time she’d found out what Brianne had done.

  The question that hadn’t let up over the past few hours, however, was if I wanted that opportunity. For every excuse I gave why it wouldn’t work, why I shouldn’t want it, a memory came forward that made my reasoning pale in comparison.

  I lived in Denver, and she lived in New York City.

  Her golden skin was silk beneath my palm.

  I wasn’t looking for a relationship.

  As my tongue moved over her sensitive skin, the fresh, salty taste of her exploded across my taste buds.

  The time for Tess and I had passed years ago; we’d simply been together for closure now.

  I slid inside her wet heat, her silken walls tight around my cock.

  And so it went, one after the other, until I found myself struggling to come up with something that seemed more important than the way I’d felt when Tess had been in my arms. How…right, as if we were two parts of the same whole.

  The back and forth was enough to give me a headache but wasn’t enough to exhaust me to the point of being able to sleep. I stood and stretched, bending my back until my spine popped with a series of sounds like that cereal that crackled in milk.

  I walked over to one of the screened windows and looked up at the moon. The sky was rich velvet, speckled with chips of diamond, like nothing I could see in the big cities back home, not even Denver. Something inside me had shifted in the time I’d been in Costa Rica, and it wasn’t only because of the insanity that seemed to keep finding me. There was a restlessness I hadn’t had before, an inability to settle.

  I needed this to be over. I needed to get back to my real life. Structure, schedule, work, routine. The things I’d been looking forward to once the craziness with Rona had ended. I’d had more than enough spontaneity in the past few months. When I finally went home, I planned on sleeping for an entire day.

  A sound from the house caught my attention. A low sort of sound that could have been one of pleasure or one of fear. I could have ignored it, justifying that the house had four other adults in it, all of them completely capable of hearing the sound too. Hell, for all I knew, whoever was making it wasn’t alone in their room.

  But then I heard it again and knew I couldn’t leave it to someone else. Not when it could be Tess in trouble.

  I went back into the house and turned down the hall. This time, I could tell that the noise was coming from the room Tess was using, but I still didn’t know if it was something I needed to investigate.

  A series of images flashed through my mind. Me opening the door to find Tess and Luis in bed together. Her on top of him, lithe body moving, head tossed back, eyes closed. Him behind her, gripping her hips as her small breasts moved enticingly. Her mouth wrapped around his cock and her head bobbing up and down.

  The notion made me ill, but if she was in trouble, I had to help.

  I knocked, but no one answered. Then she whimpered, and there was no mistaking the fear in that sound. I opened the door, and the moonlight streaming through the window allowed me to see Tess thrashing in her bed – alone. All the arguments I’d given myself disappeared. The only thing that mattered was that she needed me.

  “Tess.” I leaned over the bed and reached for her. Her face twisted, the emotional anguish clear. I caught her shoulders and gave her a shake. “Tess, wake up.”

  Her hands latched on to my forearms, her nails digging into my flesh. Pain shot across my nerves, but I didn’t pull away.

  “Tess, sweetheart, wake up.” My words were soft, but I made my tone hard, giving her a command, not a request.

  With a gasp, she jerked awake, the top of her head almost colliding with my chin as she bolted upright. Her eyes were wide, still shadowed by whatever nightmare she’d been trapped in.

  I risked letting go of one of her arms and put my hand on her cheek. The touch seemed to orient her, and the tension left her body. With a little cry, she buried her head against my chest, her arms wrapping around me. Not a single part of me debated returning her embrace.

  “It’s all right,” I murmured as I pressed my lips against the top of her head. Damn, she smelled good. “It was just a dream. You’re okay. I’m here.”

  I kept repeating my statements over and over until her trembling ceased, but even when I stopped talking, I didn’t stop stroking her hair. I’d only had a short time to enjoy the privilege of doing something I’d fantasized about throughout my teenage years, and I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass me by.

  When she pulled back, I reluctantly let her go, but I made no move to leave the room. I wasn’t going anywhere until I knew she was okay. Over the last year, I’d wondered if things with Rona would have been different if I hadn’t backed off as often as I had. Even if Tess and I didn’t continue a physical relationship, I didn’t want to lose her as my friend. Not again.

  She wiped at her eyes with her hands, sniffling. I reached over to the small end table and plucked a couple tissues from the box. As she dried her eyes and cheeks, I asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I more than half-expected her to say no, but when she nodded her head, she seemed more surprised than I was.

  “It wasn’t bad at first. Not nightmare bad, anyway. It was that last night back in DC, when I came to see you.”

  “The night before you left.”

  She nodded again, looking away, as if even the memory of that night embarrassed her. “It started just like it really happened. Me coming over. Us…kissing. But then someone came in, and it wasn’t Bri. It was Darius. He said you called him and then you handed me over to him. He squeezed my wrist tight enough to hurt, but you just laughed. He started talking about how he was going to kill my mom and Bri and make me watch.”

  She shivered, and it was all I could do not to reach for her again. I curbed the desire, thinking I’d have a better opportunity in a minute, one that wouldn’t just let me hold her, but one that could make things right between us again.

  “There wasn’t anything I could do,” she continued. “All the people I cared about were being hurt, and I was powerless to stop him. Completely helpless.”

  “You are the least helpless person I know,” I said with a half-smile.

  “I’m pretty sure my sister has me beat on that one,” Tess said wryly. Her cheeks, however, couldn’t quite hide the flush of pride that came with my words.

  I shook my head. “I’ve seen the both of you in some pretty tough situations recently, and you’re definitely far from helpless. Brianne, she uses her military training, which is all well and good for certain situations, but she doesn’t have your ability to adapt, to think outside the box. Too many people downplay the importance of that sort of thinking.”

  She gave a dismissive wave of her hand, but not before I saw the pleasure my words had given her. While only some of Milly
Gardener’s boyfriends had been verbally abusive, I knew that the Gardener household under Milly lacked much in the way of warmth and maternal affection, particularly when Milly was involved romantically with someone. Brianne had never needed much in the way of encouragement, but Tess had always struggled with her own self-worth. That, it seemed, hadn’t changed much.

  “Did I wake you up?” Tess asked suddenly. Her eyes darted away. “Or were you up with…”

  Her voice trailed off, but I knew where her mind had gone. Her forehead furrowed as she tried to match up what she’d always believed with the ‘new’ information she’d learned today. I wasn’t going to let this keep happening.

  “I know you don’t remember,” I said, “but two days after we met on the plan, you and I talked about that last night in DC.”

  Her head jerked up, her expression startled.

  “You told me about what Brianne said on the way back to your place, and I told you that Brianne had lied.”

  Tess’s jaw dropped.

  I continued, “If you want to know her part of the story, you’ll have to talk to her, but you and I have already gone through my side. Since you don’t remember, I’ll say it again. Even back then, I knew Brianne was gay, but even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t have slept with her. I didn’t want her then, and I don’t want her now. All she and I have ever been is friends. Me and you…that’s what I’d wanted that night. What I realized I still wanted from the moment I saw you again.” I paused, then plunged ahead, “And it was what you wanted too. I’m not saying it was smooth sailing between us, but we were together before you disappeared.”

  I could see in her eyes when everything clicked. “We slept together.”

  “We did,” I answered evenly. “More than once.”

  “That’s why you’ve been acting so strange,” she said. “Like you want to touch me but aren’t sure if I want you to.”

  I nodded. “I’d never force myself on someone, and it’s not your fault you can’t remember what happened between us. Hell, I don’t even really have any proof for you. You’ll have to take it at my word.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found me? There were plenty of times where explaining all this to me would’ve made things a lot easier.”

  “I know. When I realized that you didn’t remember, I should have said something. All I can say is that I didn’t think you’d believe me. I thought you’d accuse me of lying.”

  She fell silent after that, stretching the quiet out so long that I wondered if she’d fallen asleep. Then, instead of saying anything, she moved.

  Wrapping her hand around the back of my neck, she used it for leverage as she pulled herself up to capture my mouth with hers.

  Nineteen

  Tess

  I had no memory of the feel of his mouth against mine, none beyond that almost-chaste kiss from years ago and the one he surprised me with last night, but this felt familiar and somehow right. I had only his word as proof of what we’d become in the time since we’d reunited, but I sensed no lies, nor any plausible reason for lying.

  All this went through my mind rapid-fire, and then disappeared as he leaned into the kiss, his arms going around my waist. My lips moved with his, letting him take over the lead. I knew where I wanted this to go, and that I’d been there before, but since I didn’t know if my memory of that night would ever come back, I wanted to make a new memory.

  The tip of his tongue brushed against the corner of my mouth, and I parted my lips, eager to experience everything I’d lost. He made a sound in the back of his throat as his tongue slid across mine.

  My hands moved up into his hair, the silky locks slipping between my fingers. I pushed up onto my knees to bring our faces level, and he tightened his grip on my waist. In a move that made me let out an embarrassing squeak, he pulled me onto his lap, situating my legs to either side of his thighs.

  A shiver went through me as I settled. Thanks to my lack of clean clothes, I’d decided to wear only a large t-shirt to bed, meaning the only thing between me and the hard length pushing up against me was a thin layer of cotton. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks with heat, and I broke the kiss, but I didn’t move off him. I wanted this too badly to stop, no matter how unused to these physical reactions I was.

  “Fuck, Tess, I missed you.” He rested his forehead against mine, his hands sliding down my back and then over my thighs.

  I knew when he realized how little I was wearing because his hands stopped and the rest of him went still. He raised his head, those beautiful eyes of his dark as the sky during a winter storm.

  “You’ve got to help me out here, sweetheart,” he said in a low rumble. “I don’t want to read too much into this and do something you’ll regret.”

  “Tell me the truth,” I said, taking his face in my hands. “Did I enjoy having sex with you before?”

  One corner of his mouth tipped up in a rakish grin. “I hope so. Otherwise, I didn’t do a very good job.”

  His response startled a laugh out of me, and a knot in my chest eased. I hadn’t realized how hard it had been to breathe until now. Even as the air between us thickened with desire, the levity remained, and it was this mixture of emotions that I remembered. Not an actual memory of something we’d said or done, but the feeling of being with him.

  “Take off your shirt,” I said, yanking at his t-shirt impatiently.

  Even if I could remember being able to touch him, I’d want to do it now just as much. I suspected that, no matter what happened, I’d never have my fill of him. The thought should have frightened me, but right now, here with him, nothing scared me.

  He tossed his shirt onto the floor, and I let my gaze devour him the way I’d always wanted to. He’d filled out since we were kids when I’d seen him swimming or playing basketball, but he still had an athlete’s build. Broad shoulders, but not too broad, strong arms but not overly muscled. His chest and stomach were defined, the dusting of dark hair coarse against my palms. The thing I liked best, however, was how he caught his breath when my fingers traced his abs.

  “Your turn.” His voice was hoarse. “Fair’s fair.”

  I reached for the hem of my t-shirt and hesitated. I should have felt shy or embarrassed or any number of emotions that would make me reluctant to bare myself. I didn’t feel any of that. The only thing remotely odd was the realization that he’d seen me naked before, and I didn’t remember it.

  “We don’t have to do this,” Clay said, his words gentle despite the desire I could see burning in his eyes.

  He would stop, I knew. Even with his erection straining against his pajama pants, he wouldn’t go any further than I allowed.

  “I want to,” I said. “I just needed a minute to get used to the idea that this isn’t new for you.”

  He put his hands over mine and looked straight into my eyes, his expression serious. “Trust me, Tess, this is new for me too.”

  I could take him literally and debate the point, remind him that he’d seen me naked, touched me, been inside me. Or, I could acknowledge that he wasn’t talking about the physical act, that whatever this was between us was bigger than us both, somehow more intimate than two bodies coming together.

  I chose a third option and leaned forward to brush my lips across his. It was a simple act, a kiss that would’ve been chaste under other circumstances, but it spoke volumes that I knew he would understand without any explanation needed. When I rocked back so I could see his face, he gave me a slight nod, and I knew our discussion was done for now.

  He released my hands, and I finished what I’d started by pulling the t-shirt over my head. He muttered a curse and pulled me to him, his mouth crashing into mine with the sort of hunger I understood all too well. The hair on his chest chafed my nipples, hardening them into little points that throbbed in time with the ache between my legs. I ground down on him, moaning at the hard length rubbing against my sensitive skin.

  “Fuck, Tess.” He tore his mouth away from mine. “You’re kill
ing me.”

  I went up on my knees, reaching down between us to free his cock as he kissed his way down my neck. When my fingers wrapped around his thick shaft, he sank his teeth into my flesh, and I gasped, my grip on him tightening. I dug my nails into his shoulder, using his body to balance me as I sank down onto him.

  My eyelids fluttered, and my mouth fell open as my body opened to him. Logically, I knew I’d done this before, but a part of me still expected pain, or at the very least, the discomfort of something foreign pushing its way inside me. Instead, it was as if a part of me I hadn’t known was missing had finally been found.

  His hands moved to my hips, helping me balance as I reached beneath to guide him to my entrance. My orgasm had left me wet and relaxed, but the sheer size difference between the two of us still made it a tight fit. I put my hands on his stomach and closed my eyes, putting all of my concentration on slowly lowering myself onto him. He didn’t rush me, his hands remaining a source of strength without trying to direct me. When I finally had him completely inside me, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was full, almost uncomfortably so, but there’d been no pain.

  The memory clicked into place so suddenly that I gasped. My eyes flew open.

  “Tess?” The concern in Clay’s voice caught my attention.

  I shook my head and smiled down at him. All of my memory hadn’t come back, and that single sliver wasn’t enough for me to set aside what we were doing. This would be a new memory, and one I was eager to make. The past could wait. I’d wasted far too much time there already.

  His hand slid up my spine and cupped the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair. Little pinpricks of pain danced across my scalp, adding to the warmth in my belly. I rocked against him, moaning as the motion put the most delicious pressure on my clit.