Dark Pleasures Read online

  “Those smell wonderful,” I said as I entered the kitchen.

  “I can't take all the credit,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at me. “They came in a can.”

  I shrugged. “Still more baking than I usually do.”

  “There's a small plastic bowl in the refrigerator,” he said. “It has butter cream frosting in it. Would you mind getting it for me?”

  I opened the refrigerator and found the bowl. When I turned, Rylan had two plates with steaming cinnamon rolls sitting on the kitchen table. I set the icing down between the bowls and sat in the chair that Rylan motioned to. He was behaving oddly, I realized. Quiet, subdued. I swallowed hard. Had he realized I'd been upset yesterday and was angry with me about it? Or had he and Zeke talked about me after I'd left and Zeke had convinced him that I wasn't good enough for him?

  Rylan sat in the chair next to me and reached for my hand, his expression serious. “I owe you an apology.”

  My eyes widened slightly, but I didn't say anything. I wasn't about to play dumb, but I didn't want to assume either. Better to let him say what he had to say and see where things went from there.

  “I didn't invite Zeke over yesterday,” he started. “But I didn't tell him not to come here either.” He looked down. “I think he was a bit frustrated that I canceled our usual Christmas Eve plans.”

  That was an understatement, but I kept my mouth shut. I was upset about how Zeke had behaved, but that wasn't the core issue, so I let it go. Better to not accuse his friend of being an ass when he was trying to apologize.

  “I should have just exchanged gifts, had a beer and then sent him on his way.” His fingers tightened around mine. “I wanted to spend the rest of the day with you, but I felt guilty about Zeke. He doesn't really have anyone else.”

  My mouth tightened. Zeke didn't have anyone else?

  “I kind of sprung this on him,” Rylan continued. “Things between us are moving so fast and he hasn't had time to adjust to how much it would change things between us.”

  He had a point, but I still thought there was more to it than merely Zeke having to adjust to sharing his friend. His reaction before Rylan had gotten here was way too strong for something so simple. His feelings for me were much deeper than mild annoyance.

  “It's still not an excuse.” Rylan raised his head so that he was looking at me. “I should have asked him to go. I should have told him that you and I had plans. I shouldn't have let him stay so late.” He raised my hand and kissed the back of it. “And while he was here, I should have made sure to include you. It was too easy to fall into how things had been with him, and that was wrong. You're in my life and I should have thought to make you a part of things.”

  While I still had issues with Zeke's behavior, my anger towards Rylan faded away. It hadn't been intentional, and I couldn't expect him to be perfect. Neither of us were. The important thing was that we didn't let it ruin things.

  “Saying 'I forgive you' sounds kind of silly,” I said with a smile. “Like you'd done some horrible wrong. So how about a 'thank you' and we move on?”

  Relief washed over his face. He leaned forward and kissed me. It was neither chaste nor too passionate, but an acknowledgement that we were good again.

  “Now,” I said as he pulled back. “How about we see how good these canned cinnamon rolls are?”

  “Can I say one more thing?” he asked as he spooned icing onto his rolls.

  “Okay.” I reached for the spoon to add liberal amounts of the icing as well.

  “My biggest regret yesterday is that I didn't get to see what was under that robe.” He winked at me and I laughed.

  “You have no idea,” I said. “And now you have to wait, because I'm definitely not wearing it under these clothes.”

  He gave me the kind of pouting face that I was sure not many people got to see and I laughed again. In public, he came across as this quiet, serious man who was all business, but there was an almost child-like silliness that he showed every so often. I loved that he felt comfortable enough with me to reveal that side of him.

  The food was even better than it smelled, and that was saying something. Neither one of us talked very much as we ate, but the silence was fine now. I could deal with not bringing up Zeke's behavior. Better to let that play itself out, let Zeke either deal with whatever his issue was or have Rylan see it for himself. As long as he and I were on the same page, I wasn't going to let Zeke spoil things.

  “So,” Rylan said as he finished the last bite of breakfast. “Since we didn't get a nice, uninterrupted holiday, I was thinking maybe we should do something about that.”

  I washed down my final mouthful and got up to put the dishes in the dishwasher. “What did you have in mind?”

  “I want you to come away with me.”

  I closed the dishwasher and turned to find Rylan just a few inches away. I tilted my head back to look up at him. My heart thumped wildly in my chest.

  “My family owns a cabin up in the mountains and they won't be using it over New Year's. They always go to some snooty society party and Suzette hangs out with her friends. We'll have the whole place to ourselves. We can ski and take advantage of the hot tub.” He took another step towards me and I swallowed hard. “The closest neighbors are miles away so we can be as loud as we want.”

  Damn.

  He cupped my chin in his hand and ran his thumb along my bottom lip. “I would like nothing more than ring in the New Year buried deep inside you while you screamed my name.”

  Holy shit. What was I supposed to say to that?

  “Please say you'll come.” His eyes darkened. “And I promise that you'll come.”

  I nodded, unsure what I'd even say if I opened my mouth.

  I didn't have to worry about words though because his lips were covering mine and his arms were around me, crushing me against his body. I wrapped my arms around his neck, parting my lips as my tongue stretched out to meet his. He made a noise low in his throat as he lifted me onto the counter, putting us at a more even height. His hands slid under my shirt, palms burning across my skin as he ran them up my sides and back to where his fingers found the clasp to my bra. He angled his body to give him enough space to maneuver his hands between us. I gasped into his mouth as he cupped my breasts under my bra. His fingers were rough on my nipples, sending jolts of desire straight south.

  I shoved my hands beneath his sweatshirt, eager to feel him. His skin was hot and he broke our kiss to curse as I raked my nails across his back and ribs. When my fingers slid up to tease his nipples, he made a sound very much like a growl and I chuckled. My laugh turned into a whimper as his mouth came down on my neck, sucking and biting at the tender skin until I was writhing against him.

  “I need you,” he breathed against my ear.

  I nodded.

  He reached over and opened a small, hidden drawer. I'd first seen it the week before when we'd had sex in the kitchen. When I'd asked him if every room had a stash of condoms, he'd just grinned and said that he believed in being prepared. I was as grateful for his thinking ahead now as I had been then.

  He grabbed the waistband of my sweatpants and I was glad I hadn't worn tight jeans. He yanked them down and off of one leg, letting them dangle around the other ankle, my panties with them. My own hands were already busy with his button and zipper, but he quickly helped me and shoved his pants down around his thighs. I ran my hands across his hips and down to grasp his firm ass.

  “Are you wet enough?” he asked as he rolled the condom over his throbbing erection. “Do you need me to–?”

  “Just fuck me already,” I said, pulling him towards me. It would be a tight fit, but a bit of pain wasn't always unwelcome.

  We groaned in unison as our bodies came together. I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him inside me as my body adjusted. He fit me so perfectly that even the initial penetration, stretching me too fast and without preparation, gave me only the edge of pain I desired, the intensity of merging two into
one.

  I rested my head on his shoulder as I rocked against him. He put a hand at the base of my spine as he began to thrust. My mouth found the skin where his shoulder at neck met and I worried at it, sucking on it until I knew I was leaving a mark. Even then, I didn't stop, nipping at it until he swore.

  I raised my head, our eyes meeting as our bodies came together over and over, his cock rubbing against me in all the right places until I could barely breathe. But it was more than the physical sensations coursing through me that were pushing me on towards climax. It was the way he held me, as if I was something precious. Not delicate and breakable, but valuable. The way he looked at me, his face open and raw so I could see everything he was feeling. Even in a moment that wasn't tender love-making, there was a depth of emotion in his face that made my heart twist and squeeze. It didn't matter that this was a quickie brought about by a weekend of tension. We weren't using each other to get off. We were offering our bodies to the other for release.

  I grasped the back of his neck and pulled his head forward until our lips met. I thrust my tongue into his mouth, my teeth crashing against his lips. It was a bruising kiss, the kind that would leave both our lips swollen, and it still wasn't enough. As my orgasm crashed into me, I cried out, clinging to him even as he drove himself as deep as he could. His body began to shudder as he came, holding me as tightly to him as possible.

  I was still gasping when he released me and pulled back far enough to remove the condom and toss it into the trashcan under the sink. Instead of helping me down, he wet some paper towels and handed them to me before cleaning himself up as well. Neither one of us spoke while we righted our clothes, but as soon as we were both dressed again, he broke the silence.

  “I love you,” he said. He reached for my hand and used it to pull me to him. I tucked my head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. “I can't promise that I'll never do anything stupid again, but I can promise that I'll try not to.”

  “I promise too,” I said. “I'm sure I'll do something dumb at some point, but I won't let it come between us.”

  He let out a breath I hadn't realized he'd been holding. “Now,” he said. “What are we going to do about getting you ready for our little trip?”

  I raised my head and looked at him, my eyes filled with questions.

  “I know you’ll argue with me on this,” he continued. “But think of it as an apology gift.”

  “Think of what?” I asked, my eyes narrowing suspiciously.

  “Outfitting you for a couple days in the mountains.”

  “Rylan,” I started to protest, but he covered my mouth with his again.

  Damn him and his convincing arguments.

  Chapter 13

  I thought that Rylan would forget about wanting to pay for my skiing stuff, but when I finally headed home Sunday night, he handed me a credit card and gave me the name of a shop. They, he said, would know I was coming and wouldn't give me any problems about using his credit card. Then he told me that he'd decided to give the staff this week off as well. I told him he was crazy, but he said he didn't want everyone to find out what happened with Christophe and him leave two days later while people were still dealing. I couldn't say that I blamed him. Besides, the Christmas rush was over and we did have things ready for our first of the year releases already. There wasn't really anything pressing.

  So, I slept in on Monday and spent the rest of the day shopping. I never realized how expensive skiing stuff was until I began adding things up. It was no wonder ski vacations were for rich people. I'd originally told Rylan that I wanted to rent skis, but he'd vetoed that idea, saying we weren't going to one of the resorts. We'd ski from the cabin, which meant I'd need my own. Then he'd added that I could keep them there for future use.

  By the time I finished, I had skis, poles, gloves and boots – two pairs since I'd apparently need a set for skiing and a set for just being outside – a heavier coat, scarf, hat, protective eye gear, thermal underwear, thicker pants and a ton of chapstick and sunscreen specially designed to deal with the wind as well. I winced when I saw the total, but the cashier didn't even blink. I just hoped Rylan didn't freak out when he looked at his bill.

  Tuesday wasn't the best day for me since I didn't have anything specific planned and packing for the next day didn't exactly take me long. In the end, I headed over to the CSU library and browsed the shelves for hours, losing myself in the possibilities of stories until it was time to go home. I wanted to get a good night's sleep. We were leaving in the afternoon and I was hoping for another chance to wear the lingerie I bought.

  I paced for a good half hour before Rylan knocked on my door. It shouldn't have been so nerve-wracking. I'd spent time alone with him before. Spent Christmas with him. New Year's Eve and Day weren't exactly more important holidays. Maybe, I thought, it was because it wasn't just me staying with him now. We were going away together. A vacation. Where we'd be isolated. Granted, his house wasn't exactly in the city, but it was still close enough that people could stop by. Zeke had proven that. In this cabin, it would truly be only the two of us. I doubted it would be completely rustic since his family didn't seem like the sort to not have the latest electronics there as well, but I doubted there'd be wifi or even a cell signal. We'd be cut off from the world.

  It took until Rylan and I had packed everything up before I realized that I wasn't actually nervous about this. What I was feeling was anticipation. As much as I loved working on computers and doing my shopping online, it would be nice to unplug for a few days. No interruptions, no family or friends.

  Once I got that, I relaxed. The drive was a nice one. Apparently, Rylan bought this four-wheel drive for this exact purpose, making its way up the mountain, and it was perfect. Smoother than anticipated and running quiet enough that we could enjoy the classical music he'd selected. The road we took was little more than dirt, but Rylan had enough control that he could hold my hand for most of the journey. I'd never thought before about how much I enjoyed just holding someone's hand. In a way, it felt almost more intimate than sex. It was hard to explain and I wasn't entirely sure I understood it myself. But I didn't need to understand it, only feel it and accept it.

  “When was the last time you were up here?” About an hour in, I broke the silence.

  He thought for a moment and then answered, “My family came up a couple years ago and I stayed for a couple days.”

  “Only a couple days?”

  “I was busy with work,” he said. “And Suzette and Zeke had just broken up, so it was a bit awkward being around my sister when she was going off about my best friend.” He gave me a grin. “Though it was better than having to listen to them through the walls.”

  I wrinkled my nose at the thought. I was no prude and the walls in my apartment were thin enough that I'd heard my fair share of fucking, but the idea of Suzette and Zeke together was just, in my mind, a little weird.

  “Before that, I came up after Lara and I had broken up,” he said. “Only twice in the past four years.” He frowned. “Does seem like a bit of a waste.” He glanced at me. “We'll have to make up for that.”

  I squeezed his hand. I'd never been skiing before so I wasn't entirely sure if I would like that part of it, but even if I hated skiing, I'd suffer through it as many times as possible if it meant getting Rylan to myself. A part of me wondered if I was being selfish, but I pushed the thought aside. Now wasn't the time to be introspective about my personal motivations. Now was the time to enjoy the moment.

  “So, I never did ask.” He changed the subject. “Have you ever been skiing before?”

  “Nope.” I grinned at him. “I guess that means you’ll have to teach me.”

  “I look forward to it.” He winked at me. “It's all in how you move the hips.”

  Well, damn, if that didn't just send my mind straight into the gutter.

  The heat between us was increasing, but was still at a comfortable level. A kind of simmer rather than a full-on boil. A pro
mise of things to come rather than an urgent need.

  When we rounded the bend, I stared. He'd said cabin, so I'd naturally assumed it was a cabin. Logs. A chimney. Inside would be one main room that would combine kitchen, living room and dining room. There'd be at least two bedrooms, probably three, but they'd all be small. A single bathroom.

  I was wrong.

  This was a house. Two stories and big enough that I guessed it had at least half a dozen rooms, maybe a few less if they were big enough. I looked over at him and he shrugged, a slightly embarrassed smile on his face. I recognized that look. It was the one he got when something was a bit extravagant but he wasn't entirely sure how to make it seem like nothing without feeling like he was showing off.

  “It's beautiful,” I said. I looked out at the woods. “How far out do you own?”

  “Six acres,” he said. “Which includes a couple nice runs.” He parked the car. “I'll take you to those tomorrow.”

  We carried our luggage inside, which was just as impressive as the outside.

  “My room is on the first floor,” he said. “And that's where I'd like you to stay, but if you would prefer to have your own room, there are five upstairs you can choose from and a bathroom up there.” His tone was serious. “I won't be offended if you feel like you need your space. I know we've been together a lot recently and–”

  “Which way's our room?” My stomach clenched using the word 'our' and I hoped he didn't think I was taking it too far, but I wanted to make sure he understood that, whenever he wanted me with him, I'd be there. I knew it was dangerous to get too attached, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. The longer I was with him, the deeper in I got.

  “Our room's this way.”

  The fact that he was beaming when he said it made me relax. I followed him down the hall off of the living room. To the right was a bathroom and he opened the door to the left to a nice-sized bedroom. It was smaller than any of the rooms back at his house, but for a cabin, it was bigger than I thought it would be. The bed took up most of the room, but it looked like a queen to me rather than the king he had back at the house. There was a small table next to the bed and a dresser, but not much else. I set my suitcase next to the dresser and looked over at Rylan.